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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956950">everyday、kachuusha</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PajamaDrive/pseuds/PajamaDrive'>PajamaDrive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>carry loose [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(everything is consensual), Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, F/M, Smut, Vaginal Sex, kinda soft, sex on drugs, yo V this edible aint shi--</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:28:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PajamaDrive/pseuds/PajamaDrive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't get it."</p><p>"What I'm saying," Vik begins with a sigh, "is that you're high as a kite right about now and you're gonna be that way for a while."</p><p>"Oh <em>fuck</em>!" </p><p>---</p><p>You've heard of sex pollen. Now get ready for drug pollen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Johnny Silverhand/V</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>carry loose [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>everyday、kachuusha</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>almost scrapped this one phew</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn't that long ago, but V can barely remember the entire sequence of events that led to her shambling her way into Vik's at some stupidly late hour of the night. She was doing some work, they let out some kind of <em>gas</em>, and V had to get out before she could complete the job. Bad look.</p><p>Once she's safe and done catching her breath, V is overcome with the urge to throw up and she winds up doing exactly that on the sidewalk, which is very <em> Night City </em>of her. She contends with the blurring in her vision as she hobbles to Vik's clinic and tries not to notice that the roads are a little pinker than usual.</p><p>She just feels <em>weird. </em> It's a little light and floaty now that the nausea and trembling have begun to subside and not entirely unpleasant.</p><p>"I have to see Vik," V, trying to sound as normal and unaffected as possible, says to Misty with wide eyes betraying her measured tone. Misty can easily tell things aren't <em>totally normal </em>and has the decency to guide V to the clinic almost literally by the hand.</p><p>Oh <em> God</em>, there are fucking <em> stairs</em>.</p><p>V turns to face Misty and considers whether or not she'd be able to carry her down. Probably not. The staircase is <em>shifting back and forth </em>and the bottom seems unusually far away. V takes a deep breath and slowly walks down with Misty. Despite her worries, her motor skills are intact enough that it's not dangerous for her to go down a flight of stairs, just scary.</p><p>"Uh, Vik?" Misty calls out once she opens the door and pokes her head in.</p><p>"Yeah?" He's facing away from her and cleaning some tools.</p><p>"We got a little problem here."</p><p>"It's not a problem," V whispers, which Misty nods at as she approaches Vik and takes him aside for a few words.</p><p>V gets the sense that they're talking about her but don't want her to know what they're saying. That seems a little cruel, especially when she came here for medical attention of her own volition, but somehow it doesn't bother her at all. She shifts around awkwardly waiting for them to finish.</p><p>"Alright, V," Vik says a little louder than usual. "Hop up. Let's see what's got you...like this." He half-sighs, half-chuckles.</p><p>"I just feel a little wobbly. Probably nothing big," V lies, omitting more than a few details and sitting up on the exam chair.</p><p>"Probably," Vik nods as if he already knows the answer and pulls up a few screens, looking them over. "So what happened?" he asks.</p><p>"I was just doing a regular job and then those Tyger Claw fucks let out this, like, weird <em>smoke </em> I could barely breathe through. Got out as quick as I could."</p><p>"I see." He's only half-listening to V since it's so readily apparent what's going on.</p><p>"I feel normal," V says unconvincingly.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm sure. Do you remember if the gas had any color or taste?"</p><p>"N...No." V can't remember much of anything.</p><p>"Then it's probably just a neurotoxin. Poorly mixed or poorly labeled. The gangs are starting to get into this stuff recreationally but haven't figured out how to properly contain it. Some gonk made a mistake, probably shot a canister open, and you wound up being the one huffing their fumes."</p><p>"I don't get it."</p><p>"What I'm saying," Vic begins with a sigh, "is that you're high as a kite right about now and you're gonna be that way for a while."</p><p>"Oh <em> fuck </em> !" V drawls with furrowed brows, eliciting a small laugh from Misty in the corner of the room. "Vik, I can't be <em>high! </em> I have stuff to do!"</p><p>"Not tonight you don't. Go home, stay safe, sleep it off, no driving or wandering around town, alright?"</p><p>"V, it's late," Misty comes closer. The gentle, steady tone in her voice makes V think that she must have some experience taking care of inebriated friends.</p><p>"Thanks, Mist," Vik says because he knows V is too fucked up to remember to do so.</p><p>"If you insist," V sighs. "But really, I feel mostly fine. I can stay out just a little longer, right?" She feels like a child asking to get her curfew changed.</p><p>"No, kid, you really can't," Vik shakes his head and is starting to sound frustrated. V feels a little guilty. "You feel fine now but who knows if that'll last. We've got almost no idea what they put into you and with that biochip stuck in your skull, that just makes things more complicated."</p><p>"Go the fuck home, V." As if by command, Johnny appears in the farthest corner of the room.</p><p>And V thinks that if even <em>he's </em>telling her to pack it up for the night, it must be pretty serious. She slides off the exam chair a little defeatedly.</p><p>"Okay, fine," she says to both Johnny and Vik at once.</p><p>Vik pats her on the shoulder on the way out.</p><p>"Have fun."<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>V manages to convince Misty that she's okay enough to make it up the staircase to her apartment (Turns out stairs are a lot less scary when you're going up rather than down.) and she manages just that.</p><p>Collapsing onto her sofa, V lets out a frustrated shout into the upholstery. She turns over and stares at the ceiling, feeling kind of like an idiot for letting any of this happen in the first place.</p><p>"You look like a high schooler who just chugged a bunch of cough syrup," Johnny chuckles self-assuredly.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"That's what kids did in my day to get high."</p><p>"Oh. Sounds gross." If she was sober, she would be irritated at Johnny for being <em>amused </em>by her current state, but she's not so it's mostly just funny.</p><p>He starts going off on some story V doesn't mind missing out on as she suddenly feels very tired. She closes her eyes and lies back with a yawn, thinking it would be nice to fall into a medicated slumber.</p><p>She hears Johnny raise his voice, likely offended that he wasn't holding V's attention. She curls up on her side.</p><p>"You know I love your stories," she begins, "but I have to sleep, Johnny." </p><p>He crosses his arms and vanishes without a word. V wishes it was always that easy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wakes a little while later, unsure whether she had been out for 5 minutes or 5 hours, and when she sits up, rubbing her eyes, her surroundings seem to take a second to catch up with her movements. V looks around the quiet room. Johnny materializes beside her.</p><p>"I feel like <em>shit</em>," he groans, holding his head. "Didn't know I could do that. You sure you're fucking high and not sick?"</p><p>"Feels like both," V says. "I have to go throw up," she nods, pushing off of Johnny and ending up once again knelt above a toilet.</p><p>After she's done throwing up and brushes her teeth twice, V wobbles back to the couch, a little grateful that Johnny apparently feels poorly enough to not make fun of her for her unsteady gait. She wonders if she looks half as bad as he does or if he's just trying to be manipulative by putting on a show. V grumbles and tries to sit up. She makes it but has to support herself with her hands and even then, struggles not to fall over.</p><p>Mostly unbothered by this, V tries to center her body and mind. Underneath the drugs circulating through her system and narrowing her priorities to 'sit up' and 'don't vomit', she's also a little nervous. V looks up at the warbling ceiling above her and wonders why Johnny's feeling this too or if the biochip is somehow being damaged.</p><p>"Are you really okay, Johnny?"</p><p>"No, but we'll live. Or <em>you </em>will at least. Stop psyching yourself out, you high piece of shit."</p><p>"I'm not."</p><p>"Don't know if you're noticing this, but you can hardly sit upright. You're fucking loaded," he smiles at her mockingly. V doesn't mind.</p><p>"Oh," says V, suddenly wanting to stare into every fiber of Johnny's hair.</p><p>"You should lie down." Despite his words, he sounds a little irritated, although he always sounds a little irritated, he's gentler than usual as he takes V's hand and leads her along.</p><p>"That sounds good," V nods when she deposits herself onto her bed. She lets out a sigh of relief. Walking that short distance had induced a little bit of vertigo, so she relishes the opportunity to gather her equilibrium, but it never quite happens. Not completely anyway. Her surroundings are still spinning but it's pleasant when she's lying down on a solid surface. It's like the room is on a carousel. </p><p>Johnny's talking but V isn't sure what he's saying and it's honestly nice to hear his voice without the words coming out of his mouth. She clears her throat and gathers enough saliva in her parched mouth to use her tongue properly. Just in case any thoughts worth saying come around. Johnny rolls V over and takes her spot on the bed. Her face is squished into the mattress but she just tilts her neck to the side so she can breathe and talk.</p><p>"It's so weird," she interrupts whatever Johnny is saying and closes her eyes.</p><p>"You look tired." He stares at her face.</p><p>"Not tired. Just..." She makes a thoughtful noise. "...Heavy," is the word she ultimately settles on.</p><p>"Kind of a lame high if you ask me."</p><p>"It was free," she says right before she's promptly overcome by the urge to touch Johnny. Or anyone. She ends up placing a hand on the top of his head, and tenderly smoothing out some of the knots down his hair, mouth slightly open.</p><p>Johnny smirks and leans down to kiss her lips in a way that could be called downright <em>tender </em>since he knows V is probably not going to remember this and that makes it easier for him to be nice.</p><p>She blinks and Johnny can <em>immediately </em>see the difference in her eyes when she opens them like glazed-over dinner plates. Her pupils are gigantic.</p><p>"Really light now," she says. Her voice is small and <em>cute</em>. She sits up and peaks out into the center of the room. "...Where's Nibbles?" V looks around her apartment like it's much bigger than it is, like she's staring out into the expanse.</p><p>"I don't fucking know."</p><p>V <em> pspsps</em>es and Nibbles emerges from the bathroom with a long chirp.</p><p>"Nibbles!" V grins hazily and beckons him over, but he seems skeptical. "He needs a bath again." Hairless cats are a bit needier than V had anticipated.</p><p>"Fucking alien always needs something."</p><p>"Don't make fun of him," V pouts and the cat hops up onto the bed, stepping through Johnny. "It's not Nibbles' fault he's bald and needs our help." V pauses. "...He should have a sweater too. It gets cold at night."</p><p>"For fuck's sake, stop treating it like a kid. You'd be a shitty mom anyway."</p><p>"...Well, yeah, probably." She lays back down, scratching under Nibbles' chin.</p><p>The room is silent except for V's breathing and Nibbles' light purring. Johnny doesn't breathe, at least not in the way V does, but she's inhaling and exhaling very slowly and deliberately to keep calm and not panic about her altered state. He can feel it too. V nudges closer to Johnny and reaches over to cling to his arm but she goes right through him.</p><p>She looks at her hand and tries again to touch Johnny's face, his chest, his organic arm, his inorganic arm, anything, but she slides right through him each time. The blue edges around him seem to be especially active. He sits up and tries to place his hand on hers but it passes through the air uninterrupted. Johnny looks at V and the troubled, thoughtful expression on her face.</p><p>"What?" he says in a calm whisper, mostly unbothered by the recent developments and somehow not sounding as annoyed as he wants to.</p><p>"First thing I thought was if this is what it'll feel like when you're gone." There's a hazy, innocent tone to her voice like she doesn't even know what she's saying. "Just like this," she reaches to touch his face and it lands below him. V smiles sadly and scratches Nibbles' back. At least he's tangible. "How much more time do you think we have left?"</p><p>"Stop depressing us. You're supposed to be high."</p><p>"I still am," says V, changing the subject after some self-awareness hits her. The light returns to her eyes and she looks up above her. "Ceiling's wiggling," she’s grateful for at least something new to think about, but her mind wanders back to the same place. "...I know we're not supposed to talk about it, but after we say goodbye, I want to get you back." She sniffles and Johnny can't bear to look. "Don't know how much time I'll even have, but I'll die before I stop. And— You know the way you died? 'Died' died? Mikoshi and all that? Like what are the odds we totally lose this fight and they just do that to me too? So when <em> I </em> come back as an engram in someone's head, you'll be my Alt, is what I'm saying. And I'll come find you somehow."</p><p>"V."</p><p>"Y...Yeah?"</p><p>"I have no idea what you're saying," he lies and if he had a functioning heart this would be the part where it starts pounding incessantly, but all Johnny can feel is a tight feeling constricting his mind and this all-encompassing sense that things are <em>not okay </em>if she's talking like this, regardless of her sobriety level. "You sound <em>really </em>drunk," Johnny musters a laugh convincing enough to sound like it's really <em>at her </em>instead of <em>with her</em>. "Can you even hear me?"</p><p>V nods and Johnny teleports off the bed, kneeling beside her. He feels her forehead.</p><p>"Gross. You look fucking sticky." He shakes off his hand as if that's going to help anything.</p><p>"Sorry..." she whispers out, feeling a little like she's melting in the bed. "How're you doing?" She opens her eyes and somehow <em>smiles. </em> "Vik said something about the biochip maybe acting up."</p><p>"Sober as fuck," he scoffs.</p><p>"'m sorry. I know how much you like this kind of stuff."</p><p>"It's entertaining enough to watch you act like this."</p><p>"Good. I'm happy. So much of what we do is so...sad."</p><p>"Don't I fucking know it?"</p><p>A little too quickly, Johnny takes his place beside V, feeling an unfamiliar stutter somewhere in his construct as he attempts to warp to her side. He ends up a few centimeters to the right of where he expected to land and it's not much, but still disorienting when he's used to pinpoint precision. Begrudgingly, he takes a second to gather his wits.</p><p>"What? What're you thinking about?" V smirks at him a little dreamily.</p><p>"Don't ask that. You sound like every shitty ex I've ever had."</p><p>"Just trying to make conversation..." </p><p>"Fine, whatever, converse all you want," Johnny whines and shrugs.</p><p>"I'm—"</p><p>As V speaks, Johnny's vision starts to blur and double in ways both familiar and foreign. He sits up, listening to her prattle underneath the sharp ringing between his ears. He <em>coughs </em>and that's a new trick in and of itself, but more surprising is the small glob of what looks like <em>blood </em>on his trembling palm. </p><p>He compels himself to <em>stop shaking so much, asshole </em>but fails to before V can notice him staring at his hand. She goes to take his wrist and look at it but she slides right through his digital flesh again with a frustrated sigh.</p><p>"<em>Bleeding</em>?" V says as Johnny thinks the same. Her eyes close and her lips wobble, like there are a thousand thoughts all racing to get out of her mouth at once. She's still fucking high. "Let me see," she instructs Johnny instead of being able to touch him. He tilts his wrist in her direction and her eyes go wide. V looks back at his face and the small line of blood running from his nostril and then lets out a modest <em> Huh... </em> like she was expecting something more. "I think...you're having a Relic malfunction, Johnny."</p><p>"Fucking <em> A</em>," he chokes out but it's almost incomprehensible with the shifting, crackling noises also coming out of his mouth.</p><p>This one is more jerky and...digital-looking compared to V's attacks, with electric blue spikes jutting out of every edge of Johnny's body and static overtaking his voice. The rest of it is similar enough that she doesn't know what else it could be. It's a little jarring for her that she's technically a leading expert in the field, but she's mostly just relieved that Johnny doesn't have to go through it alone as she did.</p><p>"Lie down— I said lie down!" V directs a little helplessly as Johnny moves to sit on the edge of the bed, head hung low and nearly vibrating. "You're fucking <em> panting</em>, Johnny, this is kind of fucked up—" He opens his eyes wide and gives her a dark glare.</p><p>"You fucking trying to kill me here? Giving me information like that?" Johnny growls, syllables strained.</p><p>"No, I've just never seen you get like this."</p><p>"Enjoy the show, shithead!"</p><p>"Wait, aren't you the one always crying about 'Oooh V, it's so boring living inside someone's skull. All I can do is smoke and make smartass comments'?" She sits beside Johnny, staring at his face in a way that makes him feel scrutinized, even though V is smiling a bit through her words. She wishes she could wipe away the stream of <em>whatever kind of digital analog to blood this is </em>from Johnny's face, but she can't. She can't even hold his hand while he honest to God <em>hyperventilates </em>right next to her.</p><p>V finds she's having one of those out-of-body experiences she gets upon remembering that she's been doing all this with <em> Johnny Silverhand </em>of all fucking people, except between the drugs and the weird intimacy of what she's seeing, this one processes differently.</p><p>Johnny Silverhand's having a bad trip in her apartment. </p><p>
  <em> Okay then. </em>
</p><p>She scooches closer to him like it makes a difference.</p><p>Johnny continues to cough and stutter before V eventually stands up. She turns to kneel in front of him with her hands in her lap. He doesn't look at her. "The first one sucks," she says, scrunching her nose up at him. "They only get worse but that's something you hopefully won't have to worry about." She looks over and at some point, one of his knees had stopped bouncing. V inhales, combing her mind for topics to talk about. "...It's never fun <em>while </em>it's happening, but when I'm lying up at night sometimes just thinking about things, I remember how you fucking <em> yell at me </em>when I have really bad Relic malfunctions and I think 'who the fuck would even do that to a person' and...you know, <em> you </em>would. It's— It's probably not good, don't get me wrong, but it's...very <em>you</em>. For better and worse." The floor is gyrating back and forth but that doesn't seem to stop V from sitting on it, so she doesn't mind either.</p><p>V can't describe how much she wants to touch Johnny right now or how crippled she feels even without the option. The apparent <em>fragility </em>of their physical link is a concern she hadn't considered much so far.</p><p>Johnny's shoulders stop trembling and his aura calms enough that V stands. "I...I have to lie down." As much as she wants to stay close, her head is so fuzzy and she can tell she needs to relax before she starts freaking out too. A lot's happening. Johnny's still catching his breath ("<em> breath </em>") when she crawls into bed wordlessly, turning to watch the sharp edges emerging from Johnny. He's still shaking a little. V nestles in and opens her mouth. "You're so lucky you don't sweat when this happens. I start melting and need to take like five cold showers at once. ...Even if you can apparently...leak some sort of fluid. Or I don't know. Maybe we're just high," she shrugs and Johnny scoffs a bit at that. He must be starting to feel better. V smiles. "...Have a cigarette. Relax. Come to bed," she instructs. "When you're ready."</p><p>She's surprised when Johnny just skips to the final demand and warps beside V. He's still jittery and looks so adorably lost as he collects himself from the malfunction's aftershocks, but some bitterness and angst are returning to his eyes all the same. V focuses on calming herself, measuring her breathing in hopes of relaxing Johnny as well. It seems to work.</p><p>They lie together in silence, both listening to the dull hum of the city's sounds outside of V's window while Johnny comes down, suddenly feels a little light-headed and hazy. Neither can tell the other is thinking the same thing, but the melange of outdoor noises is like a <em> song </em>to them. V turns to her side and drapes an arm over Johnny, careful not to get too close or invasive. He kisses her forehead for longer than he has to and shuts his eyes tight.</p><p>"Wait." V sits up again, feeling the room spin at a pleasant pace, and places both of her hands on either side of Johnny's face.</p><p>"So we can touch again."</p><p>"We can <em> touch again </em>." She's practically bouncing in glee and promptly straddles Johnny's hips. He sighs, trying to shoo away Nibbles, who had been an impartial observer to the previous events, before remembering that the stupid cat can't fucking see him. V ends up doing it for him.</p><p>"Your shitty trip breaks my engram for <em> five fucking minutes </em> and the first thing you do when we're back up is climb on top of me?"</p><p>"<em>Yours </em>is the one that sucks. Mine's not shitty," she frowns, not immediately addressing the other part of his statement. "It's...introspective and horny."</p><p>"So <em> shitty </em>?&lt;/em&gt;"</p><p>"Just because I'm not bouncing off the walls or writing thirty songs in an hour, doesn't mean I'm not having a good time," V sighs a little dreamily, having adjusted to whatever soft and fuzzy place her mind is in.</p><p>He smiles lightly at that, as if remembering something, and places his hands firmly on V's waist.</p><p>"Big thing I miss about being alive is that kind of artistic<em> high</em>. Where you'd be down for twenty hours after but the output'd be some of the greatest of your entire fucking career." He leans his head back, looking satisfied with himself.</p><p>V sometimes forgets that underneath the anti-establishment vitriol, abject vulgarity, general scumminess, well-honed narcissism, and misdirected intelligence, Johnny's a <em> creative</em>.</p><p>"Figured you'd be mostly a party drug kind of guy."</p><p>"Sometimes. That type of shit can get real loud real fast though; don't fuck around, V. One wrong move and your delicate little brain will dissolve in your skull." He's looking more at her <em>head </em>than her face.</p><p>"After all the shit you put me and my brain through, you've got the fucking balls to call it 'delicate'?" V pouts, placing her hands beside Johnny's neck before leaning down to press her lips against his. He holds her in place at the waist. Humming, V parts but remains near Johnny, nipping and licking at his neck. He leans into the touch, noting how gentle V's being, like he might just disappear again if she's too forceful with him.</p><p>"Not going anywhere," Johnny murmurs in her ear, voice still a little unsteady. "Not for now at least," he adds. She laughs at the relative grimness of that, especially when they're ostensibly about to fuck.</p><p>"Thanks, Johnny," she whispers to him, kissing his cheek tenderly and the sheer innocence of such a gesture breaks his dead heart a little more. She kills a lot of people, but V can be such a sweet girl sometimes.</p><p>"...How are you feeling?" she asks, stroking the side of his face and tilting her head a bit. "It takes me a few minutes to totally collect my bearings after a malfunction."</p><p>"I'm fucking <em> peachy </em>." It's somehow not a complete lie. V's on top of him, they're having a quiet moment, and he's pretty sure no one's trying to kill them for now. It's almost nice, even though he's still recovering from the malfunction.</p><p>"Let me help," She slides off of him and kneels on the bed before unceremoniously taking Johnny's cock out and stuffing it in her mouth.</p><p>"Jesus, <em> fuck</em>," he winces, apparently taken off guard but still grinning with his eyes shut. V wraps her lips around him, sucking gently, and it's hardly much at all, but Johnny's hips buck up a little when V takes him all into her mouth. His fingers find their way in her hair, petting her softly. "What's gotten into you, sweet little V?" he mocks. "We gotta get you high more often."</p><p>She responds by speeding up her pace. It almost renders Johnny speechless, but he laughs through it until the shock subsides. "Looks like that giant hole in the middle of your face is good for something other than blathering."</p><p>V sits straight up, frowning facetiously. Johnny smirks and interrupts her before she can begin speaking. "Don't fucking start. Be quiet and get my cock back in your mouth."</p><p>She pauses, nods slowly, and obeys, leaning back down to slide her lips up and down Johnny's throbbing erection. "See? It's nice to just listen sometimes." He tightens his grasp on the back of her head. "You don't have to always make everything so damned difficult."</p><p>V is somewhere between confused and disappointed in herself when she realizes that <em>something </em>about him scolding her while she sucks his dick is <em>really </em>doing it for her tonight.</p><p>Johnny lets out a sigh, as unreadable as ever, and ruffles V's hair. "We fuck around but you're a good girl, V. Too good for me or this fucking shithole city. Don't tell you that enough."</p><p>V sits up again.</p><p>"Oh my God, you're fucking high too, aren't you?" V's eyes open wide, obviously getting a kick out of it. Johnny has to be pretty wrecked to start talking like this. "Did those fumes I suck down rub off on you?"</p><p>"Yeah, think so." No cursing, no insults, no sarcasm or self-congratulatory bullshit. "I can feel it a little when you drink and smoke. Makes sense for this to trickle down too."</p><p>"This really is fun," she muses out loud. "You're so agreeable when you're like this."</p><p>"Shut the fuck up, shithead," he says with a small smile as he pushes V and her mouth back on his cock. He directs her head forcefully enough that she begins making lewd sucking noises and almost gagging. Johnny groans in appreciation. "Beautiful. Love those sounds." This only spurs V on further as she takes him in and out of her mouth over and over. Johnny leans his head back, basking in the pleasure buzzing through him.</p><p>Abruptly, he pulls V off by the hair and looks at her predatorily. "I have to fuck you, alright?"</p><p>"Oh. Go ahead," she nods slowly, lacking the focus to make fun of Johnny or say anything clever. She slides out of her panties and spreads her legs for him, looking a little shy.</p><p>"Get on top of me," he instructs flatly and V does as she's told, looking down at him with some mixture of reverence and pity as she positions his cock near her entrance and wiggles down on it.</p><p>Johnny hisses, holding V by the hips and guiding her with his head tossed back. Staying upright is still somewhat of a challenge for V so she supports herself by placing her hands on Johnny's chest while she grinds against him.</p><p>"F-Fuck," V curses, feeling Johnny's length stretch her insides in all sorts of ways.</p><p>"That good, baby? Having fun?" While it is a little patronizing, there's <em>nothing </em>dark about what he's saying or how he's saying it and that makes V smile widely. It's so satisfying to see him like this, drugged out and maybe even a little bit vulnerable. His voice sounds different.</p><p>"Yes, yes." V nods sweetly at him, eventually coming down to kiss him. In her stupor, it feels like ice shooting through her veins, cold and somehow intimate. "You mean a lot to me, you know that?"</p><p>"Yeah. I don't— I don't want to take advantage of that. Ever again. If I fuck up <em> one more time, </em> I want you to stop liking me."</p><p>"What? I can't." She gyrates on top of him and shakes her head. "I've tried." Johnny half-laughs at that, clearing the room of the tension in the air. "Trust me, liking you is a huge hassle." And it really is. While V rides Johnny's cock, she thinks about how much easier this would all be if they still hated each other. Those days were a lot simpler.</p><p>What a bad time to be bummed out.</p><p>Johnny can tell V's starting to depress and distract herself so he tightens his grip on her flesh, nearly dragging her up and down on him. She moans a series of vulgar noises, mercifully dragged out of her head by Johnny's cock inside of her.</p><p>"Stop thinking," he says to her.</p><p>"Stop thinking," she repeats, nodding. "Stop thinking."</p><p>"That's my V. Let it happen. We're here."</p><p>It's so strange to see anything soft in his gaze, but it's staring V down. All the other times they had sex, there was some sense of urgency or they were too fucked up on their own arousal to take the time to notice each other there, but this feels different.</p><p>Johnny slides his hand between V's legs and starts circling her clit a little sloppily. She hums in approval, giving a particularly brutal grind against him. He digs the fingers of his free hand into V's skin and says absolutely <em>nothing</em>. It's so refreshing.</p><p>V wonders what substance is working through her system because, barring the earlier issues, she feels fucking incredible.</p><p>"Johnny?"</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>V has never once heard his voice sound so well-meaning. He must be feeling something too.</p><p>"I-I can't come like this," she says, panting.</p><p>"I know. Get down, all fours."</p><p>V had the same idea so it can't really be called <em>obeying</em>, but she rises off of Johnny's cock and goes to her hands and knees nonetheless.</p><p>"Wish I could see your face when you're like this," he sighs wistfully and runs two fingers up and down V's cunt. She had assumed this is his favorite position because there's no pressure to look the other person in the eyes, so his words come as a bit of a shock.</p><p>"There's always mirrors..."</p><p>"Another time, pervert," says Johnny with a soft chuckle, rubbing the head of his cock against V's clit. "And I don't have a fucking reflection so that takes away some of the fun."</p><p>She wobbles a bit in response to the pleasure and Johnny has the decency to wrap his arm around her waist, holding her upright. "Easy there," he nearly croons in V's ear, sliding into her with no resistance. She lets out a half-gasp and half-moan as he pushes further and further. She's genuinely touched by how sweet he's being.</p><p>"Are you only nice when you're high?" V asks as Johnny begins to set his pace.</p><p>"Pretty much." He reaches for her clit again and is a little rougher this time, circling it methodically while he fucks her, pushing her back down into the mattress so her ass is in the air. Johnny leans forward above V, holding her wrists beside her head. He wants to apologize to her for some reason — for everything he's done — but he compromises by fucking her as hard as he can. He wants to forget about it all. Anything that isn't V's cunt and her panting and moaning below him should be inconsequential. He wants her to forget too, at least for now.</p><p>Something about the substances in V's system makes her entire body feel lit up and she wonders if Johnny's feeling something similar. Each thrust makes her vision spot and her legs shake. Her brain feels like paste. Thinking is barely an option.</p><p>"You still there, baby? I didn't literally fuck your brains out, did I?" Johnny pauses. V whimpers, pushing back against him and fucking herself on his cock. "Guess that answers my question." He leans back a little, relishing in the sight of V so mindless. He hears her sniffle between her moans and he slows his pace. "V?"</p><p>"No, yeah, keep going. I just—" She doesn't know what to say. "You feel so real. Sometimes I forget you're just code fucking with my brain. And body."</p><p>"Good. That's what we want. You so fucked up on my cock that it feels like we're both real people." He nips at her neck.</p><p>"Like real people..." V murmurs so softly Johnny can hardly hear. "Johnny, it feels like I'm dreaming."</p><p>"Hey." He grips her hair tight, pulling her head up. V yelps. "None of that shit, alright? That <em> questioning reality </em> bullshit is the quickest way to turn a good trip bad." </p><p>"O-Okay," she acquiesces. "We're both here in this...totally normal reality where Johnny Silverhand is being nice to me."</p><p>"I'll show you fucking <em> nice</em>," he snaps good-naturedly and begins pushing in and out of V with renewed vigor. Her legs turn useless and Johnny can't see it, but she's smiling wide with wet eyes, overcome with the pleasure in her body. Her entire body starts to tremble. "Not sure if you're about to come or cry," says Johnny.</p><p>"M-Me neither."</p><p>"That'd be real cute if you cried while I'm fucking you."</p><p>V laughs at this, rubbing her eyes dry and adjusting herself so Johnny can get in just a little bit deeper.</p><p>"...Sorry if I'm making things weird."</p><p>“<em> Weird </em>is fine by me," Johnny says with a rough series of shallow thrusts. V nearly falls over.</p><p>Her orgasm comes out of nowhere, shocking her and making it feel <em>that </em>much better to come on Johnny's cock, moaning loudly — probably louder than she ever has — and quickly losing balance. Johnny holds V up and rubs her clit gently as she comes. She's so sensitive that even something so soft borders on painful, but his touch quickly settles into something that only intensifies her orgasm, even as she comes down and the pleasure finally begins to subside.</p><p>"Johnny," she whispers, collecting enough of her wits to construct sentences. She wants to tell him she's pretty sure she's in love with him but it seems like an awful time. Maybe when she's sober. Maybe when they're saying their goodbyes and he can't lord it over her afterward.</p><p>"What, baby?" He thrusts slowly and mindfully in and out of soaked V's pussy, marveling with pride at the way she still clenches down on him even after being fucked so thoroughly.</p><p>"I can't feel my legs."</p><p>"I know. Poor thing." He pulls out of her.</p><p>"What are you doing? You haven't—"</p><p>"Nevermind that for now. It's one orgasm. I think I'll be okay." A little wobbly and hazy-eyed himself, Johnny has the decency to set V down on the bed gently, straightening her legs as she catches her breath. "Just remember that you owe me." He looks at her darkly and she isn't sure how serious he's being.</p><p>"I actually think this might make us even." V smiles, meeting his gaze with warm, friendly eyes. He looks almost sad for a moment.</p><p>"Wasn't me, it was the fucking drugs."</p><p>"You guys worked together." V starts to sit up but Johnny teleports on top of her, holding her face with both hands and making a lot of eye contact as he looms over her body. He doesn't kiss her or do anything for what feels like literal minutes. He just looks at her like he's never seen her face before and then he abruptly vanishes out of the room. V sighs and stretches out her legs before beginning to stand. Her throat is almost shamefully dry from all the moaning and heavy breathing and getting some hydration is her priority. She's starting to feel more like herself again.</p><p>Johnny appears behind her as she heads to her coffee table, the sounds startling her stiff.</p><p>"I hate it when you do that."</p><p>"I don't give a shit."</p><p>"Yeah, I know." She shakes her head defeatedly. "You're lucky you have a big dick."</p><p>He laughs at that, tossing his head back for dramatic effect and approaching V from behind with open arms. He takes her in an almost friendly embrace.</p><p>"You're starting to get it.</p><p>"Get what?"</p><p>"Why women love me."</p><p>And a sleazy comment like that makes V smile with relief as she remembers she's just the last in a long, tangled line of women who Johnny got close enough to use for something or another. That doesn't make her special. At the core of it, she's a lovesick groupie who's sixty years late to the party. The pressure is off. She doesn't love him.</p><p>V stands there half-naked as she drinks from her bottle of water, covered in at least a few layers of sweat.</p><p>"I need to shower. Watch if you want. I don't give a fuck at this point."</p><p>"We have zero boundaries, V," he reminds her pseudo-helpfully. "It doesn't matter what you say. None of it fucking matters."</p><p>"You couldn't be more right there."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>♡ Thanks for reading :3 ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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